Last night, I didn't even leave my house until nearly 10:00 because a half-hour process for work turned into a two-hour one. The person that had made the error is also the person that caught it, and found the solution for it, so that was cool. Eventually.

I'd been planning to meet up with RealTrainGirl and MisunderstoodGirl, but by the time I left home they had already migrated to another bar - one that I didn't want to go to - so I told them I was just going to Rich O's.

I probably would have been better off at the other bar.

Rich O's is, as I'd feared, out of Noble Smoker. I ended up having an NABC Bourbondaddy and after that the place was SO LOUD that I couldn't even hear myself think so I left at about 11:30 and went to wait for OutOfTheBlueGirl to get off work.

We ended up going down to Caesars and hanging out there for a while. It was pretty good to see her again.

This morning I overslept and I had two funerals I was supposed to go to and I'm not going to make it to either of them.

There should be more people named Adam.

A few years ago my friend Eric and his wife named their new baby Adam, and it took me a long time to remember the kid's name. I just kept getting it wrong.

Now that I've finally got Adam's name commited to memory, I keep messing up everyone else's names.

And whenever I confuse a person's name, I invariably end up calling them Adam.

I don't know why.

I wish Eric and Terri had named their son Dude, then I wouldn't seem like (as much of) an idiot calling people Dude all the time.

The other day in this 'blog I mentioned that MiddleNameGuy had been proven to be full of shit.

Then on Wednesday I was talking about that with my friends.

Last night RealTrainGirl called me and told me that the guy was dead. He'd died a few days ago.

He was like 24 or something.

I was irritated with him, but he was still pretty cool.

And of course now I feel bad for talking shit about him.

Yet another exciting day. Not.

This morning I awakened with the very vivid, very disturbing, memory of a dream I'd been having. Without getting too specific I'll just say "ewwww" and hope I don't have that dream again.

Today was the last day I have to wear a tie to work until September. I'm very excited about going to business casual dress for the Summer.

My intentions for VigilanteGirl remain less than honorable. As do her's for me, I hope. Too much drama otherwise.

My niece Bethany is graduating from high school next month. I'm mildly freaked out about it.

The problem with the Spring in Southern Indiana is that it's almost impossible to mow your lawn every week. Between last weekend's near-freezing weather and this weekend's rain my own lawn looks like it will go at least three weeks without a mowing.

Got a fairly firm estimate on my car repairs today. To fix everything it will cost $2160 plus tax. Ouch.

Today was rugrat day at work.

I think I know who was sending all the hateful messages to me last Fall. If I'm right, I have decided to forgive the person.

Man I'm bored.

I've mentioned before some of the sick/funny/strange search strings that lead people to my site.

I've put together a new page listing the gems.

I'll try to keep it updated as new weirdness comes along.

Just some stuff about my day. I'm killing time until Lost gets tivoed enough that I can watch it and skip all the commercials.

By the way, if you're not watching Lost, then you're missing out on a great show.

Scratch that - if you're not watching Lost then you suck.

Anyway, today for work we had to do some bullshit.

I've often said that while I don't consider myself especially smart, I do think that a lot of other people are idiots.

After today, I see no reason to revise that assertion.

One good thing about work today was that I got to have a Newcastle Brown Ale during lunch. Yummy and anyone *cough* Roger *cough* that thinks otherwise is obviously so far up the ladder of beer snobbery that there is little hope for common ground between us.

After work I went to Rich O's and had one of the last NABC Noble Smokers, maybe forever. No, I haven't sworn off beer, it's just that they're on their last keg and I remain pessimistic about this fine smoked beer ever coming back.

As I was getting ready to leave Rich O's I saw, lo and behold, that RealTrainGirl and MisunderstoodGirl had come in with GreenBeerDude. I had myself a Diet Coke and did some catching up. The girls are having a party the day after I return from Las Vegas (but that's not the reason, silly) so I'll need to stretch my good-mood goal out one extra day to the 21st.

I think I can do it.

Got home and checked out my new garage door opener. No more hernias for me from opening the door on my detached garage. Yay!

I guess that's it.

My horoscope for this week from Free Will Astrology:

After rejecting proposals from many directors, Bob Dylan has finally authorized Oscar-nominated Todd Haynes to make a film about his life. Seven different actors will portray Dylan, including a black woman. "I am setting out to explode the idea that anybody can be depicted in a single self," Haynes told The Sunday Times. You already explode that idea every week of your life, Pisces, and you will be exploding it with even greater force and style in the coming days. I encourage you to be proud of your own riotous multiplicity. It's something to be celebrated, not to be shy about. Why not fantasize about the seven actors and actresses you'd choose to play you in the movie about your life?

But I thought that it might actually be fun to pick seven people to play me when I become so famous that they make a movie about my life. Here are my picks:

Keifer Sutherland
Waaaaay too cool for the majority of my life, but Keifer could play me during some of the highlights and lowlights. He's a fantastic actor, and those talents would be needed to accurately portray the more dramatic events of my life.

John Cusack
Another guy that's too cool to play me, but the difference isn't quite so extreme as it would be with Keifer.

Jason Alexander
Everybody has some George Costanza in them, and I've certainly got my share. Jason could play the everyday me and he'd probably nail the performance.

Kevin Smith
Who the hell is Kevin Smith, you ask. He's the guy that plays Silent Bob, most notably in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Any movie about me simply must have a quiet character.

Hume Cronin
Hume was just a very cool old man, and I hope that by the time my movie is made they'll have figured out a way to bring him back to life.

Julia Roberts
The horoscope suggested that I pick actors and actresses and Julia is the first actress that came to mind. I like the way she plays the fish out of water characters and I've certainly felt that way several times in my life.

Richard Gere
Hey! What's so damn funny? I put him on the list because he often portrays the romantic types, and that's what I've turned into.

Portraying other characters in my movie, and I only list the performers here so as not to insult or swell the egos of those in my life, would be:

Clint Eastwood, Marilyn Monroe, Lucy Liu, Patricia Arquette, Rosie O'Donnell, Julia Roberts (again), Britany Spears (sorry), Betty White, Dean Martin, Wilford Brimley, and Marissa Tomei in a blonde wig.

Well I've managed to be in a good mood for several days in a row now.

This doesn't really make any sense to me, but I'm not going to argue with it too much. Because although my mood has proven itself to be remarkably resilient in the past, it has also proven itself to be incredibly, astoundingly, fickle.

A week ago I was very sad. Now I'm not sad at all. What's happened in the meantime? Not a damn thing. Sure, they say time heals all wounds, but a fucking week, after six months of torment? In six months I showed zero real progress and now suddenly I feel fine? Doesn't make much sense to me, but I'll take it.

Maybe I'm just bottling things up inside me. But I don't feel like I am. Perhaps my heart has finally, mercifully, given up. But that doesn't feel right either. Let's face it, if I knew how to turn my frown upside-down I'd have done it a long time ago.

What I'd like to do is maintain this mood at least until I get back from Las Vegas. It's a pretty tall order, especially considering my current situation, but I feel fairly confident that with the proper amounts of alcohol, caffeine, and nicotine I can manage to keep the proper chemical balance in my head to actually enjoy my trip.

Got a call from the mechanic about my Monte Carlo today.

So far, they've determined that:

• I need a new battery (no surprise there)
• The gas in the car went bad over the Winter.
• The carburator is probably fucked up because of the bad gas.
• There is a mouse nest in the insulation on the hood.
• A part of the exhaust system is getting red hot, probably due to a blockage.
• This same blockage is probably what caused the split I mentioned before.
• The aforementioned mice have chewed several wires.

So far I know I'll be paying $70 for a new battery. After that it gets a little muddy.

If my entire exhaust system needs to be replaced I'm looking at about $1000.

The carburator work is mostly labor and is estimated at $200 to rebuild, or maybe $400 to replace.

For the wiring, he can't really give me an estimate until he surveys the damage done.

Then there's draining the fuel system to get rid of all the bad gas, and there's also the regular tune-up stuff I want done.

I'm starting to think that my initial $2000 estimate is going to be pretty close.

This of course sucks, but it sucks even more right now because I've got two bills I'd really been planning to use my tax refund to catch up on, and my property taxes are due on May 10th.

I need to figure out a way to keep the damn mice out of that car during the Winters. I've thought about installing a cat door but then I imagine I'd have all sorts of woodland creatures in there. Creatures even more destructive than mice.

I miss the days when I was rich.

Above is a picture of my childhood neighborhood. The buildings on the right are where my car is getting worked on. The empty field to the left is where my house used to be. This is why I trust these people - I grew up across the street from them. At least I did after the dog beater and his family moved away and their house burned down and the mechanic built his business.