Today I went on a little trek.

I went to this little town (and using the word town here is quite a stretch) named New Boston.

RealTrainGirl and MisunderstoodGirl had told me about this place and I was bored today so I decided to check it out.

Just driving around and exploring is one of the few things that my ex-wife and I enjoyed together, but the women in my life since my divorce have always found it too boring. As a result I haven't really done a lot of exploring lately.

This little town (there's that word again) is easy to find. Just go like you're going to Caesar's and then keep going another 167 bazillion miles until you get to this:

That spot marks where Indiana 111 ends, and if you're sitting where I was as I took this picture, New Boston is behind you and to the left. Right behind the barking dog.

To get home I took some backroads. I know it's actually pretty hard to get lost, but I gave it a hell of a try. I knew I'd eventually hit Hwy 11 or 131 so I basically just kept pointing my truck North as much as the winding roads would allow.

I had fun.

In my never-ending quest to become the most boring person in the world, I present this, yet another entry about going to the bar on Friday night.

Actually, I went to two bars last night.

Woo hoo.

The first one, recommended by some people who's opinions really shouldn't matter to me as much as they do, was this place called Mac's Hideaway.

I was there for thirty, maybe forty seconds.

My new enemy was there, probably hiding from my hatred by avoiding Rich O's, and I didn't see anyone else I knew, so I left.

When I got to Rich O's it was after 10:00, and it was only moderately crowded. I tried to grab a seat on the loveseat but some assholes told me that they might be expecting some people to join them. My official Rich O's regular card must have been lost in the mail so I couldn't pull rank on these jerks, and I sat at the island instead.

My first beer was a Sierra Nevada Harvest Ale. I thought I had tried it last week and wanted to give it another try.

The first big mistake was that I hadn't tried it before - it was Goose Island Honker's Ale I'd been thinking of.

The second big mistake was actually trying this Sierra Nevada crap.

I took one sip and decided that it was just too disgusting for me to risk another. I had the bartender take the vile thing away from me and pour me a Guinness instead.

After a while CoffeeDude came in and joined me and I had an NABC Community Dark. I don't know if they've tweaked the recipe or if my tastebuds simply weren't suffering from sensory overload like they usually are, but it tasted different to me. In a good way.

At one point, lo and behold, the assholes did have some people join them in the living room area. I decided to forgive them for their rudeness because (a) they hadn't been lying to me earlier, and (b) their friends consisted of SweetLookingGirl and TooHotGirl.

I chose that nickname for the latter because after she came in I went out to the front area to make sure that NotGeorge had seen her, and to invite him to join me and CoffeeDude. He told me, "Dave, I just can't go in there. She's just too hot."

Indeed.

At one point some young girl came in and sat with us at the island. I've decided to call her HairGirl because she just wouldn't and/or couldn't stop twisting and twirling with her hair.

Okay Dave, time to start wrapping this up.

Once the living room people left, and the temperature dropped about 20 degrees, CoffeeDude, HairGirl, and I went over to the living room area and I had myself a Piraat.

Once the conversation turned back to coffee I got bored and came home.

ploop!

There's a lot of shit in me, and I do mean a lot, but sometime I feel like it's all become so impacted that it'll never come out.

I think I just got so used to holding it in that I've forgotten how to relax and just let go.

ploop!

So I sit here, straining and red-faced, trying to make something happen so the pressure inside me will ease up, but all I manage to do is

ploop!

Perhaps I need an enema. I'll have some beer tonight and see if that helps clean me out.

Went to Best Buy yesterday and bought a replacement for my failed drive. Also bought a replacement for another drive that's at least six years old and, I figure, due for a meltdown of its own.

On the advice of a coworker I removed the old drive and gave it a little rap with the heel of my hand. Imagine my surprise and delight when I reinstalled the thing and it fired right up.

I was able to transfer all of my files from the old drive before it failed again, this time probably for good.

Once I had both new drives in place, and all of my files transferred from the old drives, I ran a complete backup of everything on my system.

I don't want to have to go through that kind of worry again anytime soon.

In fact, if I wasn't so senile that I left my wallet at home today, I think I'd go ahead and buy a replacement for my third disk as well.

It looks like I've lost one of my hard drives at home.

I got a screech, the system rebooted, and when it came back up it didn't even recognize that a drive was there at all.

I'm moderately freaked out. This disk contained, among other things: all of my e-mail storage, all of my Terragen source files, all of my web site files including those for past versions, and the My Documents folder.

My last backup was probably at least a year ago, so I'm probably looking at a pretty substantial loss.

At least I can get my web site files back - they're all on the public server of course.

I'm just starting to look into some of the professional data recovery service companies. They sound pretty expensive though.

This sucks.

Don't know if I'll keep this up for as long as I did last season, but here's my American Idol Report for tonight's show. I didn't even bother to watch the men perform last night.

Vonzell: What a stupid name. She sang the song Heat Wave that Kim Locke tried to kill in another season and did pretty well with it. (70 points)

Amanda: Hot. Singing seemed a little common but would like to hear more. (75 points)

Janay: Loved her voice though she seemed really nervous. Deserves another chance. (80 points)

Carrie: Hot. I actually got a little bored. I've heard women sing Country like that a million times. (72 points)

Sarah: Hot. No girl, especially no white girl, should ever attempt that song. (65 points)

Melinda: Picked a stupid song and then sang it artifically low. Randy proved himself an idiot by comparing her to Kelly Clarkson. She's not fit to do Kelly's laundry. (45 points)

Nadia: Sideshow Barbie. Just seemed a little full of herself, and sang a song I never heard before in my life. (71 points)

Celena: Smoking Hot. I want to do unspeakable things to her. I'm pretty sure she sang too. (74 points)

Mikalah: I swear she was using some kind of a fake cartoon voice. (60 points)

Lindsey: Hot. She absolutely hypnotized me. (80 points)

Jessica: Phil Collins she's not. She seemed to be holding back a lot. Deserves another chance. (60 points)

Aloha: Another stupid name. See The Delusional in my January 9 entry on karaoke observations for what I thought of Aloha. (40 points)

Ran across this picture today in one of the 'blogs I read.

I know a girl that moved to Arizona. This may explain why. Even the cacti are hung.

I walked into Rich O's this evening after work and, sitting in the red room, was a brunette typing away at a laptop computer.

That was very weird.

Today, for about the zillionth time, I found myself wishing that I was an asshole.

And I don't just wish this for today. Nope, I want my assholeness to be retroactive by several months at least.

As stands, however, I'm not an asshole. At least on the outside I'm not. So I keep having to spout the same crap over and over, trying to spare her feelings, even though I've known for weeks that there can be no future between her and me.

I'm not sure I'm ready for a relationship.(not with you anyway)

I'm just a little moody tonight. It's not because of you.(it's because of who you are not)

You should probably just move on. (you should take the hint and find somebody better)

I just don't want to end up hurting you. (though I know it's already progressed beyond that point)

That last bit is actually the absolute truth. She's done nothing to deserve what I'm sure I'd end up doing to her. It's just that it sounds so much like a cliché that it's lost all meaning.

It's not like I haven't tried to end this. I look into her amazing eyes and try to come up with the words that will reseal this can of worms without too much pain. Without coming off like an asshole.

I tiptoe around the harsh truth with her, because I know that the truth will hurt her feelings. I know that hurting her would hurt me as well, but I can deal with my discomfort. It's but a drop in the bucket as they say. But to hurt her, that's just something I cannot do. Because I'm not an asshole. So I try to be gentle.

My words have no effect on her. There's something about me, she says, that is worth the wait.

What she doesn't see is that, those things she sees in me, they're not meant for her.

She'll read this, as she's read everything else, and it just won't sink in.

I wish she'd take the hint. Because, before too long I suspect, there'll be no more time for hints. It'll be time for me to act, and she'll just be in the way.

If I were an asshole, none of this would be happening.

If I were an asshole, things would be different.