Last night my afternoon nap ran a little longer than I'd planned, so I was late getting to Rich O's. I was so late, in fact, that NotHideousGirl commandeered somebody's phone to call me and make sure I was on my way.

It's nice to be missed.

When I finally arrived, a little before 9:00, I was quite dismayed to see several hundred weirdoes in the living room area, with NotHideousGirl reigning supreme in the throne. I also saw MusicalYuppieDude, HairDude, and UPSDude sitting over in the red room.

I ended up sitting in the red room. There was no seat available in the living room area. Plus there were weirdoes there.

I already mentioned that, Friday night, I'd had several sips of LaptopGirl's Moinette Brune. Those sips, evenly distributed between offered and pilfered, were all pretty good. So that was the first beer I had when I sat down:

Moinette Brune (15)

(draft) Cloudy dark brown, with a large tan head. Aroma of dark fruits and something else - maybe caramel? The flavor was much more subdued than my earlier sips had led me to expect. The beer tasted a little flat and/or one dimensional. Not really anything wrong with it, but not worth having again.

So that was a little disappointing. I got over it very quickly, though, with my second beer:

New Holland Night Tripper (12)

(draft) More than black, this beer absorbed all light from within a radius of several feet. The tan head was fairly impressive as it lasted until the glass was empty. A light aroma of roasted malts, with a touch of coffee and chocolate in there as well. Flavor was almost all roasted malts, though the beer somehow managed to stay very well-balanced. Extremely yummy.

I was very tempted to just drink the Night Tripper for the rest of my life the night, but there were a couple of old friends that had gone on-tap, and I needed to visit with them for a bit. So, my next beer was an Avery Old Jubilation (62), and my final beer was a New Holland Dragon's Milk (82).

The Dragon's Milk had me particularly excited because, as soon as I heard that it was available, I texted HatGirl and told her the news that one of her all-time favorites was finally available. I was excited myself, but the thought of an actual possible HatGirl appearance nearly made NotHideousGirl wet herself with excitement. Actually, she may have wet herself; I neither asked nor checked.

But alas, the visit was not to be. HatGirl wasn't feeling well, and so she probably won't make it to Rich O's until next weekend. I have serious doubts that Dragon's Milk will still be available then. My excitement will, however, be undiminished.

Besides talking with the guys in the red room, and enjoying the occasional visit with NotHideousGirl, and trading text messages and picture mail with HatGirl, I did what I always do. I watched the door and waited to see if LaptopGirl would make an appearance.

By the time she finally showed up, I'd almost given up on her for the night. I'd moved to the throne (most of the weirdoes had left by then) and I was just starting to allow myself to relax for the first time all night.

Then the emails and the text messages started pouring in. A couple of the former from LaptopGirl, and about a million of the latter from WeirdGirl. It seemed that I would need to do some damage control with WeirdGirl, but it was going to have to wait, because LaptopGirl came in a little after 11:00. Yay!

The only seat available was at the far end of the sofa. After I glared at some weirdoes and intimidated them into vacating, I was able to go sit with LaptopGirl and talk to her for a bit. Fantastically surreal, as always.

At some point during the night, the plan had been established that NotHideousGirl and I would go to Sluttopia so she could sing at least one song to honor her deceased friend. Well, the situation with WeirdGirl looked like it was going to prevent me from going. In fact, everyone else left for Sluttopia, and it was only after a couple of phone calls to WeirdGirl that I felt right about going myself.

Sluttopia was pretty much like normal. Not to write about except that I got to introduce NotHideousGirl to my Uncle Wayne, who runs the karaoke shows in there.

At 2:00 or so, everyone else had gone off to do whatever it is that they do. I myself came home and talked to WeirdGirl on the phone for a while, then I went to sleep.

First, back a long time ago, my aunt and uncle, even at the time older than sin and dirt respectively, surprised everyone by having another child - my youngest cousin.

Yesterday I went to Long John Silver's to grab some lunch and get some to reheat later.

While I waited for my order to be filled, I saw a girl young woman sitting in a booth with a boy who was somewhere between six and ten years old.

That young woman was the aforementioned cousin, the baby of my generation. I assumed that the child with her was her son.

I hate it when kids do that annoying thing where they keep growing all the time as part of their evil plan to make me feel old. I hate it even more when that plan works.

The moral of this story is that Long John Silver's has yummy food, but that trying to reheat it later becomes an adventure in soggy mediocrity.

I had a semi-interesting conversation last night.

The gist of it was, Blah blah blah feelings blah blah. Blah blah you want more blah blah blah.

I think I'm lucky that I was in a somewhat somber mood. Lucky that I didn't start laughing at the absurdity of the implication that this latest round of bullshit had been caused by yet another unwarranted assumption.

So, instead of laughing, I just repeated the same things that I'd already said, on at least three different occasions, spread out over at least a year and a half. I kept my face straight, so that the honesty written thereon might be more readily easily recognized.

The moral of this story is that sometimes some people only hear what they expect to hear, see what they expect to see, discover what they expect to discover, encounter what....

Well, you probably get my meaning.

Was it what you expected?

I figured that, while I wait for my houseguest to rise from the dead, that I'd catch up on some beer reviews.

There's this high-alcohol festival going on at Rich O's, called Gravity Head. It's their biggest festival every year. I usually manage to have a few of the strong offerings, but I don't bother trying to sample them all.

Anyway, here are the new high gravity beers that I've had over the last couple of weeks.

Alvinne Podge Belgian Imperial Stout

(draft) Black in color, with a thin tan lacy head that faded quickly. Aroma of malts and light chocolate and dark fruits. Medium mouthfeel - not quite syrupy. The flavor is fairly tame, mostly malts and chocolate. I like this. Dangerous though, because the high ABV is hidden very well.

Dark Horse Scotty Karate Scotch Ale

(draft) Clear dark amber. Good long-lasting head. No detectable aroma. The mouthfeel is a little watery, and the flavor is mostly roasted malts. A decent beer, but kind of a waste of time. The alcohol was hidden very well, a little too well, I think.

New Albanian V - Fifth Anniversary Ale

(draft) Hazy brown in color. Minimal head that lasted. Strong aroma of hops and alcohol. Flavor more of the same. I can see how most people would really like this beer, but it's not a style that I care for. Decent is all I can say.

Gale's Prize Old Ale (from 1998)

(draft) Hazy dark brown, with no head to speak of. According to JauntyGirl, this smells like hairspray. I myself would say that it smells of roasted malt and alcohol. Fairly thin mouthfeel, with the flavor of roasted malts and overriip cherries. No alcohol burn at all. Pretty darn good.

New Holland Pilgrim's Dole

(draft) Clear amber in color. No head at all. Zero. Smells a little bit like laundry detergent, of all things. Mounthfeel is meduim syrupy. The flavor is a little weird to me - as with all barleywines. There is a noticeable alcohol burn at the finish. Decent.

Kasteel Kriek (Rouge)

(draft) Very dark red, with a light pink head that shrank but lasted. There was some discussion as to what the aroma was, and it was decided that this smells like Luden's cough drops. Flavor is cherries and cranberries. No alcohol burn at all. Quite good, but also quite strange.

Bluegrass The Queen's Knickers

(draft) Clear dark orange in color, this beer didn't seem to have much of an aroma. So I was surprised to find such a funky and citrusy flavor. To be fair, this beer may have clashed greatly with the chocolately porter I'd had earlier, but I don't think I'd have liked it all that much anyway. I only drank a few sips, then I gave the rest away.

Schlafly's Bourbon Barrel Imperial Stout

(bottle) Black with tan head. Aroma and flavor of coffee and light chocolate. Not much of a bourbon flavor, but a lingering alcohol burn that was bourbony.

Schlafly's Imperial Stout

(draft) A fairly standard imperial stout, though I was disappointed to find not even the slightest hint of chocolate. This thing was all coffee and roasted malts. Not my favorite by a long shot.

Brugge Brasserie Tripel de Ripple

(draft) Hazy golden in color, with a large head that shrank quickly. Fairly standard aroma and flavor for a Belgian of this style - so pretty good. There was a tiny bit of unexpected creaminess as it swirled in my mouth. The finish was a little drying, but not so much as to be obnoxious. A pretty good beer.

I guess I'm having the same problem this morning that I had a couple of Sundays ago. I think about the previous night, and writing an entry about it just seems too daunting a task.

So, that Saturday Beer Report from a couple of weeks ago never got written, and this Friday Beer report will probably end up being a brief one, though the night itself certainly wasn't brief.

First, while it's on my mind and while I'm sitting at my keyboard, two Saturdays ago, I went to Rich O's and was greeted with the question, "Did you see SassyGirl?"

I replied that I had not, and I was told that she was sitting out front.

I ran out front and, sure enough, there sat SassyGirl!

Yay!

She and JauntyGirl had come into town that day. She hadn't called to let me know, because she'd wanted to surprise me at Rich O's.

Well, that plan certainly worked. I was definitely surprised.

The timing of their visit was close to perfect, as Saturday through Tuesday were pretty stressful for me, and those girls provided a lovely distraction for several hours of those days.

Anyway, a bunch of other stuff has happened between then and last night, but it seems like it would be hard to write it all down. So, I won't. I'll just skip to last night.

I arrived at Rich O's at 6:00, that early hour determined by the fact the my sister Dina and her husband Kenny were there. We talked until 7:30 or so, when they had to get home for some basketball game or something.

I ate a pizza and sat at the island by myself. There was a couple sitting at the other end of the island, but I didn't talk to them much. Mostly, I just watched the door and waited for LaptopGirl.

She arrived at 9:00 or so. I got to help her fact-check an article she's writing. That was very cool. It's nice to feel useful.

We talked for a while until EuchreDude came and horned in on sat with us. I because invisible for an hour or so, until after they'd moved to the living room area. I followed mostly because to remain where I was would have felt slightly more awkward.

Eventually, I managed to get LaptopGirl's attention again. Mainly by plopping myself down on the coffee table two feet in front of her. We talked for another hour or so, but eventually she had to go home.

Oh yeah. Beer.

Let's see, my first beer was a yummy Schlenkerla Fastenbier (308), which has made it's brief Spring appearance. My next two beers were NABC Flat Tyre (749), though I did have a few sips of LaptopGirl's Moinette Brune. It was good, and the next time I have some I'll write a proper review.

That number for Flat Tyre above is an estimate, because LaptopGirl had several sips from my glass as she waited for news from her homefront.

Once LaptopGirl had gone, I went and sat at the kiddie table and talked to WomanRepellant for a while. Then NotHideousGirl came in. She was sad, because her cat had died. Poor kitty.

We somehow got to talking about karaoke, and she suggested going to Sluttopia. I called, and they said that they had a band instead.

Well, we ended up going to Sluttopia anyway. WomanRepellant followed us there, but most of the crowd just went to this Jack's bar closer to Rich O's.

NotHideousGirl became even more sad when, upon our arrival, she was told that one of her friends from there had died a couple of days ago.

The band sucked big hairy ones. I did my best to distract myself from the racket by drinking a Newcastle (9071) and talking to WomanRepellant and NotHideousGirl until they started kicking everyone out at 3:00 or so.

Then I came home.

Then, despite my staying up until after 4:00, my stupid circadian rhythm woke me up at 8:00. And here I sit, looking forward to the wonderful nap I'll get to take in a few hours.

Hmmm, I guess this wasn't as brief as I'd feared.

I remember that, tonight as I stood outside Rich O's enjoying the cool Spring air, I remember thinking that I seemed to be a pawn in some twisted game. The game was called, I decided, How Stupid Is Dave?

And, I freely admitted to myself, I really sucked at that game.

I was, it seemed, being manipulated by a master player. The best player ever, perhaps. I was fooled, and then I was jerked around, and then I was given false hope, and then I was misled, and then I was fooled again.

And, through it all, I played the part of the pawn perfectly. Fuck, I even liked being a pawn. Because it was better than being nothing, and I'd had enough of that, thank you very much.

But that was about 9:00, when I was thinking those things. By 10:05 by my watch, everything had, once again, changed. My perception shifted, or reality shifted around me. I'm not sure which, and I don't really care. All I know is that the game revealed its true name even as it shifted to my favor.

The real name of the game is How Patient Is Dave?

And, let me tell you, that's a game that I'm a master of. Because the value of patience is directly related to the value of the desired. I realized this a long time ago, at about the same time I figured out that if desire is infinite, then so must be patience.

I'm so happy right now.

I'm happy because my patience paid off. Though Wednesday was tough, and the first part of Thursday was even tougher, I did have the patience that was required.

I'm happy that my patience paid off, but most of all, I'm happy because the desired and the realized, for a while there, they fucking merged. For a while there, I wanted nothing more than what I had. For a while there, I waited for nothing.

And, the thing is, I could have waited for a million years. A billion years. A trillion years. Use whatever long period of time that you wish. It doesn't matter how long it is.

As long as it took, it would always be, will always be, worth the wait.

It was worth the wait.

And now, back home, I start to wait once again.

But that's okay. I can wait.

I have plenty of patience.

I wonder, how long it would be, this imaginary entry that I will never write?

If I somehow managed to shut down or at least suppressed all of my inhibitions, and I just started writing, how many words would it take before I was finally finished? Before I'd finally written everything there was to write?

Most people, I daresay, most people who read the thing would never speak to me again.

But the others, the ones that stuck around, they'd be with me forever, I think.

And I'd never doubt them again.

A week or so ago, I ran across this article. I've seen similar articles before. It seems like they pop up every year as St. Patrick's Day nears.

Then today I saw this article. This is just another rehash of the standard pets reduce stress story that news organizations use when Britney hasn't done anything crazy lately.

Anyway, for those keeping score at home, (a) I enjoy an occasional alcoholic beverage, and (b) I own not just one, but three cats.

I am, therefore, invincible and I will live forever.

When I see your great-great-great-great-grandchildren, I'll tell then you said, "Hi."

I was talking with my sister yesterday. She told me about how she'd been sitting out on her deck Friday night, trying to enjoy the snowfall, but it had become too cold and windy for her comfort.

So, she ran back inside her house.

I guess she ran quickly. Furthermore, I guess she ran too quickly.

Because she startled one of her cats.

The cat hauled ass out of the room to hide, but not until it had deposited two turds onto Dina's kitchen floor.

I think that cat was pretty smart. I think it deliberately shit on Dina's floor to provide a distraction while it made its escape.

I like that idea. I like that idea so much, I'm going to steal it.

In the unlikely event that my ex-wife ever sets foot into Rich O's, I'm not just going to haul ass out the back door. Nope, I'm going to drop my pants and shit on the floor first. That little distraction should buy me enough time to get away.

This plan should also work for other unwelcome intruders; my ex-wife is just the first one who came to mind.

I think most people around here are pretty excited this morning. I know I'm pretty excited, and I'm a grumpy old man.

We're having the biggest snowfall we've had since December of 2004. You could even call it the only snowfall we've had here since then. I'm looking out my office window, and I can't tell how much snow I have out there. It's blowing and drifting around too much. I will guess that there's at least 10 inches of snow.

And it's still snowing, though that's not expected to last for much longer, I don't think.

Anyway, it's pretty cool, but I'm ready for Spring now.