Wednesday, September 28, 2005
posted by dave at 7:28 PM in category dreams, general

Today I employ one of my standard methods for trying to beat mental constipation. Here's this week's horoscope from Free Will Astrology:

A Pisces woman I know has heard harassing voices in her head for years. They've often urged her to commit suicide or commit other heinous acts. Three weeks ago, they mysteriously stopped, and have left her alone ever since. Meanwhile, another Pisces friend recently received a letter from an old lover who unconditionally forgave her for hurting him while they were together. A third acquaintance, also born under the sign of the Fishes, had a lucid dream in which she buried the dress she was wearing during the saddest moment of her life. Subsequently she has felt an exhilarating release from the weight of the past. I see these three events as examples of a theme you too are enjoying: a burst of liberation from a demon that has plagued you for eons.
The part of this that jumped out at me was the part about the woman with the dream.

I was actually thinking about writing an entry about something similar before I read this horoscope. Strange, but true.

For over a decade at least, I've had this recurring dream wherein I visit some place where I used to live. Sometimes it's a house, sometimes it's an apartment, but it's still always the same place in my dream. I don't suppose that it matters where it is or what it is because, in real life, I never lived there.

So in my dreams I'd go to this old abode. A lot of my stuff would still be there, and I'd have an enjoyable time going through all of my forgotten possessions and just exploring the place for a while.

Sometimes I'd imagine moving back into that old place. After all, I'd think, so much of my past was already there. Waiting for me.

Like I said, I've had this theme pop up in my dreams for a long time. I never paid much attention to it except to notice that it was always a pretty good dream.

Last night, I dreamed of the old place again.

This time it was a house. A regular ranch-style house that sat in a subdivision among a bunch of identical ranch-style houses. I did the usual exploring. I remember marveling at the fact that I had three pool tables in the basement. I wandered around the house, touching everything. I dreamed that I took a nap in what had been my bedroom.

This is the point where this dream became different.

This is the point where the moving company arrived, and I helped the movers load all of my stuff into their truck.

Once the movers had left, the real estate agent was there, and she was putting a "For Sale" sign in the yard. She told me that the old place was a little run down, but that she expected it to sell rather quickly.

"A fixer-upper," she called it. "May I ask why you've decided to sell after all this time?" she asked.

"I guess I just realized that I was never really coming back here. Having two houses is nice, but you can only live in one of them," I replied.

I woke up shortly afterwards.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005
posted by dave at 9:10 PM in category dreams

I've slept two hours since Monday morning. Just like old times, I say. Go fuck yourself, I respond.

Because my day has been spent in this half-dead daze, I really have nothing of interest to write.

I dealt with some bullshit earlier today the best way I know how - I completely ignored it except to vent about it here.

I guess the only thing that really happened to me today was that I managed to sneak in a dream this morning.

*** Warning! Boring dream description ahead! Proceed at your own risk! ***

I went to the grocery store and, as I was approaching the doors, I saw a sign announcing that Danny DeVito would be signing autographs. Sure enough, I could see Mr. DeVito already. He was inside the store, talking to a couple of women who were stuck outside. They ask him if they could PLEASE come in and get his autograph.

Danny DeVito looked the women up and down and told them, "No, not today. Maybe some other time." Then he disappeared into the store.

This just struck me as completely rude and unfair, so I vowed that I'd get Danny DeVito's autograph for these women.

The doors to the store were locked but, you may recall, doors and walls and windows mean nothing to me, so I just went right in.

Now, for some reason I knew, just knew, that the best chance I'd have of getting Danny Devito's autograph would be to find a box of Honey Nut Cheerios and have him sign the box. So I went looking for such a box.

This took a loooong time, but eventually I found the cereal aisle and scored a box of the stuff.

Next, I had to figure out where the autograph signing was taking place.

This also took a loooooooong time, but after exploring the entire store, I found Mr. DeVito sitting at a little table next to the smoking section.

As I approached him with my Honey Nut Cheerios box, my alarm went off and I woke up.

I'd just love it if one of you genius readers could interpret this fucker for me.

posted by dave at 3:46 PM in category general

I am more observant than you think I am.

I am not as stupid as you think I am.

You are not as irresistible as you think you are.

posted by dave at 12:34 AM in category daily

I'm bored, and I'm lonely, and I'm wide awake.

Nothing good can come from this.

Sunday, September 25, 2005
posted by dave at 10:21 PM in category ramblings

Sorry about that. Sorry especially to my sisters who, upon reading that title, will probably jam cooking utensils into their ears in hopes that they'll scramble that particular bit of imagery out of their brains.

So what if they also forget a couple of kids' birthdays, or what verbs are, or how to pee. So worth it.

I just always wanted to use picture me naked as an entry title. Shit, I did it again. Oopsie.

But seriously, folks.

I always wanted to say that too.

Looking up the word, I find several definitions, including the following:

na-ked
adj.
4. Being without concealment, disguise, or embellishment: the naked facts; naked ambition.
6. Exposed to harm; vulnerable: "naked to mine enemies" (Shakespeare)

Going from the above, I'm already naked here. In fact, some might even argue that I'm much more exposed via this journal than I'd ever be if I simply stopped wearing clothing in public. I'd find no fault in that argument.

I remember back in the 70s seeing news stories about people streaking. This type of behavior seems to be old hat these days, but back then it seemed like a really big deal. Especially to an impressionable, yet groovy, young boy.

I remember wondering just how in the Hell people could do that. Weren't they embarrassed? Weren't they afraid that someone would see them? Laugh at them?

I thought they all must be crazy. Running around with their pee pees and their boobies bouncing around. What if their grandmother saw them? *shudders*

Now it's thirty years later and, I'm not parading around au naturel, but I think that I must be at least as crazy as those hippies were back in the 70s. I'm showing you people parts of me that nobody, not even my ex-wife, has ever seen. I pose and bend and flex and twist myself around so that everybody gets a really good view.

And why do I do this? What do I want in return?

Simple. Let's all get naked together. Let's stop hiding the best, and worst, parts of ourselves. We are what we are, and we are who we are, and there should be no shame.

So this is me. No better and no worse. Like what you see? Good? Don't like what you see? Feel free to look away.

If you can.

posted by dave at 7:28 PM in category general

(I'm pretty sure that I've stolen the subject of this entry from somewhere, but I cannot be bothered to research it. Also, I'm not picking on anyone in particular here.)

I just don't see what the big deal is with all this Unconscious Mutterings crap that keeps cropping up everywhere.

That's right. I said it. I don't get it.

Is this supposed to be fun or something? Are you supposed to do it and learn something about yourself? Maybe you're supposed to post them in your 'blog and people will just understand you better.

I don't get the purpose of these things.

For those of you that don't know what I'm talking about, first of all you're lucky. Second of all, what you're supposed to do is this word-association thingy like they've had every shrink that's ever been on television or in the movies in history do at one point or another. For example, here's this week's list from the site. I'll read each word and then write the first thing that pops into my head:

  1. Crave:: Beer
  2. Whole package:: Cereal
  3. Roommates:: Lesbians
  4. 5:30:: 4:57
  5. Lesbian:: Roommates
  6. Poignant:: Sad
  7. Hurtful:: Mean
  8. You and I:: Unlikely
  9. Grateful:: Whatever
  10. Giggle:: Tickle
Okay, this is supposed to reveal some great insight into my inner-workings?

I don't get it.

There's one journal that I read frequently- the guy seems to have become obsessed with these things. All that I've learned from reading them is that he likes to do boring things and post them on the Internet.

Hell, I already knew that. We all do that or we wouldn't be here.

I dunno. Maybe I'm too stupid to understand the appeal of these things. Maybe I'm too smart. Maybe it's all just some big joke where the inventor of the things is getting a big kick out of the fact that people are actually doing this shit!

Hey! I've got an idea! I'll start a new sensation. I'll write a word and you send me money. The amount that you send will reveal hidden things about your personality. I promise! Right off the bat, for example, it will reveal two things:

  • Whether or not you have too much money laying around.
  • Whether or not you like to read random words.
It'll be the NEXT BIG THING!

The first word I'll use is *drumroll* perambulate.

Feel free to PM me for where to send your money.

posted by dave at 11:45 AM in category drink

I don't feel like writing anything, but I guess I'll get this over with.

Last night Rich O's was just incredibly dead. One of the PBDs was having a party and all of the other PBDs has gone to it. Not that I particularly miss those people.

MisunderstoodGirl was sitting at the bar when I came in, but she was talking with one of the assholes that does nothing but badmouth you know who all the time, so I went over and sat at the island.

I had a Smithwick's (540). I started off with a tame beer because I'd originally planned to be there for a while and I wanted to pace myself.

After the asshole left MisunderstoodGirl came over and we talked for a while. I wanted to try something new, so I had this beer from Lithuania.

utenos

Utenos Porter (17)

(bottle) Very malty and sweet. There might have been some chocolate and/or coffee flavor under all that malt, but I couldn't be sure. Mouthfeel was creamy and sticky. Finished like it had a higher ABV than it really did.

About halfway through this beer my friend left and the entire place pretty much emptied out except for some idiots that I don't know in the living room and some more idiots that were sitting behind me in the red room.

So by 9:30, I'd only been there an hour and I'd already had two beers. So much for pacing myself. I thought about maybe switching to Guinness but then I figured that it would only make my mood worse, so I paid and left.

Went to White Castle and spent a few minutes trying to get this cat that was in the parking lot to let me pet it, but it kept a four foot buffer between us at all times and just meowed.

Got home a little after 10:00, ate my White Castles, and played pool for a while.

Yippee!

posted by dave at 10:26 AM in category quiz

1. Were you named after anyone?
My first name after my dad. My middle name I have no idea.

2. Do you wish on stars?
Nope.

3. When was the last time you cried?
The last time something bad enough happened.

4. Do you like your handwriting?
I do. It's self-encrypting in that sometimes even I can't read it.

5. What is your most embarrassing moment?
That would be this.

6. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you?
I think so.

7. Do you have a journal?
Duh.

8. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
No, I would never resort to that.

9.What are your nicknames?
Dave (duh), This one girl tried to call me Grasshopper but it didn't stick, barenada

10. Would you bungee jump?
I don't think so.

11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
Nope.

12. Do you think that you are strong?
Hard to say. I'm easily knocked down, but I keep getting back up.

13. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
Vanilla with chocolate swirl.

14. What is your least favorite thing about yourself?
My unwillingness to ever do anything except whine about my problems.

15. Who do you miss most?
Duh.

16. What color pants and shoes are you wearing?
No pants, no shoes. I'm wearing a robe.

17. What are you listening to right now?
Just the voices in my head.

18. Last thing you ate?
White Castle cheeseburgers last night.

19. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?
Why does this stupid question keep showing up on all these surveys?

20. What is the weather like right now?
Haven't been outside yet. It's cloudy though.

21. Last person you talked to on the phone?
MisunderstoodGirl.

22. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
From far away, their general body shape. From close up, their eyes.

23. Favorite Drink?
Diet Vanilla Coke.

24. Favorite Sport?
Pool.

25. Hair Colour?
Blonde.

26. Eye Colour?
Blue.

27. Do you wear contacts?
Tried to several years ago, but couldn't get used to them.

28. Favorite Food?
This varies. I like crab legs at lot, and now I'm craving some.

29. Last Movie You Watched?
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

30. Favorite Day Of The Year?
None really stand out.

31. Scary Movies Or Happy Endings?
I like both types.

32. Summer Or Winter?
Summer.

33. Hugs OR Kisses?
Both.

34. What Is Your Favorite Dessert?
I don't eat dessert. That's for fancy rich folk.

35. Living Arrangements?
I have a house.

36. What Books Are You Reading?
Dead Lines by Greg Bear and Evolution by Stephen Baxter


37. What's On Your Mouse Pad?
It came with the computer. It says "Gateway" on it.

38. What did you Watch Last night on TV?
Nothing.

39. What are your favorite Smells?
Bacon, Vanilla, Lilacs.

40. Rolling Stones or Beatles?
I never cared for either band at all.

41. What's the furthest you've been from home?
Saudi Arabia.

42. Do you have a special talent?
Shooting pool.

43. What is your ring tone?
Just whatever came with the phone.

44. Least favorite sound?
See above.

Saturday, September 24, 2005
posted by dave at 7:16 PM in category general

I don't know why this is interesting, but it is. To me at least. Well, not really.

Here's who has sent the last 50 text messages to my phone.

My niece Bethany
RealTrainGirl
MixedSignalGirl
MixedSignalGirl
MixedSignalGirl
MixedSignalGirl
RealTrainGirl
RealTrainGirl
MixedSignalGirl
VigilanteGirl
VigilanteGirl
VigilanteGirl
MisunderstoodGirl
MisunderstoodGirl
MixedSignalGirl
VigilanteGirl
MisunderstoodGirl
MisunderstoodGirl
VigilanteGirl
VigilanteGirl
RealTrainGirl
MixedSignalGirl
VigilanteGirl
VigilanteGirl
VigilanteGirl
MixedSignalGirl
MixedSignalGirl
MixedSignalGirl
MixedSignalGirl
MixedSignalGirl
MixedSignalGirl
VigilanteGirl
VigilanteGirl
VigilanteGirl
MixedSignalGirl
MixedSignalGirl
MixedSignalGirl
MixedSignalGirl
MixedSignalGirl
MixedSignalGirl
MixedSignalGirl
MixedSignalGirl
MixedSignalGirl
MixedSignalGirl
VigilanteGirl
RealTrainGirl
RealTrainGirl
VigilanteGirl
MixedSignalGirl
MixedSignalGirl

It's a sad little list, really. Two lesbians, one girl that only wants to flirt with me, one niece, and one girl that I manage to hurt every time I see her.

MisunderstoodGirl called a little while ago. I guess I'm going to meet them at Rich O's. I hope they're still there when I get there, because I don't really feel like going to their other hangout, Mac's.

Don't really feel like going anywhere actually. Especially not tonight of all nights. But it's especially tonight of all nights that I have to go out. Otherwise I'll be admitting to yet another defeat, and I'm not willing to do that. Yet.

posted by dave at 1:46 PM in category comics

grumble

mysterious gray box mysterious blue box mysterious red box mysterious green box mysterious gold box

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