Here's another one from facebook. I should be doing these in vlog format.

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Who is the person in your life who taught you the most valuable life lessons?
MixedSignalGirl. I answered this question immediately, without giving it any thought whatsoever. I'll stick with that answer, but I'll add the "normal" people like my parents and such.

What is your earliest childhood memory?
I remember my mom holding a baby that, to my horror, wasn't me. I had a new sister named Dina. My next earliest memory, as far as I can tell, was of playing with a girl with long dark hair. Research has indicated that this was probably my cousin Terri, and I was two or three years old.

Where was the last place you made 'whoopie'?
My bed.

When did you wake up today?
About 8:00. I wish I would have slept longer.

Why did you cry last?
Me strong man. Me no cry.

Who is your favorite male actor?
Keifer Sutherland.

What was the last movie you watched?
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, a couple of nights ago. I thought it was a stupid movie.

Where do you do most of your shopping?
A gas station down the road from my house. Stupid question. The place where I spend the most money is Rich O's.

When did you last tell someone that you loved them?
Within the last six months, I think. She didn't believe me, I guess because of all the zillions of times I'd lied to her.

Why did you tell your last 'white lie?'
I have no idea. I'm a very honest person.

Who do you look more like - your mother or your father?
My mom. I actually think I look more like my maternal grandfather, except he was bald and I'm not.

What color is your vehicle?
Red or black or blue, depending on which vehicle you mean. I drive the blue truck the most. This is probably a variation of the "What's your favorite color?" question that usually pops up in these things.

Where would you go if you could go anywhere in the world on vacation?
Australia probably. Or Alaska. Or Russia. I'm easy. Usually I just want to get away from here, and the actual destination is secondary at best.

When was the last time you disappointed someone or hurt their feelings?
Within the last month, I bet. Hard to say. Disappointing someone and hurting their feelings can be two very different things.

Why do you think you are a 'good catch?'
Because I'm awesome. True, so true.

Who is your bff?
HatGirl and RockGirl.

What is the best feature on your body?
I've been complimented on my tongue. Does that count? Sometimes girls like my eyes, because they supposedly change color.

Where would you get a tattoo - if you would get a tattoo?
If I HAD to get one it would be on my upper arm. I can't imagine ever getting one, though.

When and what did you have for dinner today?
A fish sandwich and fries at the haunted Burger King. They were yummy.

Why did you take the time to complete this survey?
Because I was incredibly bored.

The other night I was bored and took this "truth" survey on facebook. I reproduce it here for your amusement. The parts of the answers in italics were not part of my oirginal facebook answers.

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Who was your hardest breakup?
I think that everyone knows the answer to that question. Anyone who knows me at all, in any event. And even if they disagree with me as to whether it was a breakup or not, nobody can deny that it hurt me terribly, and that it continues to do so.

Who was your last kiss to?
KittenDamsel. I kinda wish they'd used "most recent kiss" instead of "last kiss." The way they worded is too pessimistic.

Whats your favorite color?
Blue. Seriously, this question shows up all the time on these things. Does anyone really care about another person's favorite color?

What question would you hate to be asked?
This one. Okay, I dodged this question when I originally took this quiz. The real question I'd most hate to be asked would probably be something like, "Do you still cling to stupid hope?"

What is the weirdest thing you have done?
I'm 44 years old, I've done TONS of weird things. One time, in Alaska, I jumped onto an iceberg-thingy to see if it would hold me. Maybe that was more stupid than weird, though.

Who do you have a crush on?
Lots of different girls. Probably every girl I know.

How old do you wish you were right now?
A million. I don't know why I picked a million. Maybe so I'd be old and wise and stuff. In actuality, I wouldn't mind being 30 again.

If you had a time machine, would you use it, what important moment in your life would you see?
All I can do is SEE that moment, not change it? If all I can do is see it, I'd like to see my own birth. I've gone to the hospital where I was born, trying to find someone who can help me locate the room I was born in. But all those people are dead or retired by now, and they've done a lot of remodeling, so I've never found the actual room.

What is the biggest lie you ever told?
I've never told a lie. :) Not for a long time, anyway.

What do you regret most doing?
Waiting. I should have told LaptopGirl how I felt about her years earlier.

What do you regret most not doing?
Waiting. As long as I'd waited for years already, I should have waited a few more months, so I'd have been believed.

If you could choose how you could die, what would you choose?
Something memorable. An airplane crash or something. I want to SCREAM my last breath. Most people want to fall asleep and just never wake up. That would piss me off if it happened to me.

What would your best friend be surprised that you did?
I dunno. I'm an open book. I have nothing to add to my original answer.

If you could speak one more language, what would it be?
I already speak English and some Spanish. I guess French would be my next choice. And whatever they speak in Belgium. Is that Flemish?

If you had one day to live, how would you spend it (besides saying good bye)?
I'd spend it with her, if she'd let me. I seriously doubt that LaptopGirl would want to see me, but I'd have to ask. I would have no plan B.

Think of the most outrageous question, then type the answer.
In a heartbeat. I'm not gonna say what the question was.

What is the mast annoying trait in your best friend that you would like to eliminate?
I don't know if my best friend has ever annoyed any masts. Okay, there was a typo in the question, and I made fun of it. My best friend does indeed have annoying traits, just like everyone does, but I'm not going to spotlight any of them by stating what they are.

Have you ever felt like you ruined someones life?
I thought so once. I was wrong, luckily. I was pretty worried that I'd screwed MixedSignalGirl up for life. But she's turned out just fine.

I kinda feel like I should say something tonight, but I'm going to hold myself in check, as much as I can. It's probably just the drugs coursing through my veins that are making me want to talk. Sudafed and alcohol. Maybe the two of them together will be able to do what one alone couldn't. Maybe they'll dry out my damn sinuses. So I can sleep.

I didn't sleep for shit last night. Stupid coughing and running to the bathroom to hack into the sink every 10 minutes. It's amazing to me that the human body can produce so much snot.

Gross, I know.

At least my fever seems to be gone.

I'm trying to write an entry this morning. An important entry. And, as I so often do with the things that are the most important to me, I'm fucking it up. I'm putting too much pressure on myself to do this just right and make it perfect. A fitting tribute to my friend, who I found four years ago today.

My phone is magic, see. I think about all of the times that I've sat outside at night, either on my swing or, more recently, in my garage, feeling alone and misunderstood. At times like that, I've been able to type all of my problems into my phone, and then either right away or a few hours later, I get a reply.

Sadness and loneliness go in, and understanding comes out.

My phone is magic.

Sometimes it's not that dramatic. Sometimes I just want to talk about my day. Say that I've arrived at work, or that I'm bored, or that I'm having a cheeseburger for lunch. Stupid mundane stuff like that. So I type those things into my phone, and it makes me feel like I'm sharing my life with someone. Because, in a way, I am.

Magic. My friend is magic.

What follows is the entry that I wrote on this date last year. I think I did a pretty good job. It still wasn't good enough to express everything I feel when I think about her, but it came pretty close.

It usually hits me at night, like most things. I'll be downstairs shooting pool and it'll hit me, and I'll nearly drop my cue. I'll be out on my swing and it'll hit me, and my swing will coast to a stop. Or I'll be reading a book and it'll hit me, and I'll read the same paragraph a dozen times.

I am so incredibly blessed. That realization hits me, and I can think of nothing else.

It might seem like an odd thing, to have a best friend that you've never even met. I suppose it seemed odd to me, back when I first found her. She has become such an integral part of my life, but if I saw her walking down the street I might not even know her. If I spoke to her on the phone it might take me a few seconds to recognize her voice.

It might seem like an odd thing, but it doesn't. Not to me. To me it's as natural as breathing. And just as involuntary.

Three years ago today, that's when I found her.

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Just got an email from her.

Told her that I'm trying to write this entry, for our anniversary, but that I'm experiencing writer's block.

I think the problem is that nothing I could ever possibly write would be enough. Not enough to even come close to describing how important she is to me. I don't have the words, and even if I did, I don't think I have the strength to put those words together.

I know that whatever I write will fall short of the mark. Trivialize the emotions. Marginalize the gratitude that I feel when I think about her being in my life.

I needed something, three years ago. I needed it so badly that I was dying from the lack of it. And she gave it to me.

Understanding.

Not pity, or doubt, or advice. She didn't try to rationalize what I was going through, and she didn't try to make it all better, and she didn't judge, and she didn't mock.

She understood.

And I went from feeling completely alone in this world, to having an ally. A kindred spirit I called her. And that knowledge, that wonderful knowledge that I wasn't alone, that I wasn't a freak, that I wasn't any of the things I'd been labeled as...

Wonderful.

I began to heal, three years ago on this day. I stopped waiting to die, and began struggling to live, three years ago on this day.

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Sometimes I think that we take each other for granted.

I relish those thoughts, because they're absolutely true. We take each other for granted because that's exactly what we are.

We will always be friends. We will always be there for each other.

We are granted to each other.

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Happy anniversary, my dearest friend Teri.

She is a part of me now.

The most important part.

I dreamed that we were at Rich O's. It was just like old times, except that we were both really tired. I fell asleep on the couch, and you fell asleep leaning against me.

It was nice.

Then Rich O's closed, and my arms were full of cigarettes and your purse and stuff, so I put you on my head and wore you like a hat as I walked to Jack's.

Now don't get mad. There was nothing sexual or otherwise inappropriate at all. It was more about comfort and trust.

It was nice.

Then, I went into Jack's with you as a hat, and my friend Mike from Omaha was there watching a pool game. I hadn't seen him in five years, nor him me, but all he could do was stare at my strange choice of headgear.

It was a nice dream.

I'm leaving in 20 minutes. I hope to get my hairs cut today. I also hope to beat the rain that's looming. This all got me to thinking (uh-oh) about timing. It really is everything, like I keep saying.

A couple of years ago, the car carrying my nephew and his friends, and another vehicle, had the worst timing possible. If the speed of either vehicle had been different by even one mile-per-hour, what was a tragedy would have only been a close call. If either vehicle's speed had been ten miles-per-hour different, it would have been a non-event.

Unbelievably bad timing,is what that was.

In February, StupidGirl asked me to move to Las Vegas. It was a very sweet and kind offer. But I didn't go. I didn't go, because I had a relationship here in Indiana that was very important to me, and also because I had a job here. Now, I know, I also had friends and family and a house and blah blah blah, but the reasons I stayed were because of LaptopGirl and, to a much lesser extent, my job.

Two months later, my job was gone, and so was my relationship. Both had gone the way of the dodo. And StupidGirl had gone and got herself a shiny new boyfriend.

So that was certainly crappy timing. Nowhere near as crappy as the timing that my nephew and his friends experienced, but crappy nonetheless.

I could list a billion examples. Like how I met MixedSignalGirl because a deer ran in front of her car just when I happened to be driving behind her. Or how I found RockGirl because the "random journal" button at journalspace.com took me to her journal. Or how StupidGirl just happened to be on the rag and be my waitress on the same night.

Anyway, speaking of timing, I've got to go now. Maybe I'll finish this entry later.

Yesterday, I updated my facebook status thingy to say:

Sometimes, it takes a man's touch. Right, OddlyFamiliarGirl?

I was sitting in a staff meeting - that fact the my life is ruled by meetings is a different story - and my phone rang. The caller was OddlyFamiliarGirl. I couldn't answer the call, of course, because I was in a meeting, but I was able to send her a text that I'd call her back at my earliest opportunity. Right after that my phone chimed again, this time to indicate a new voicemail message.

So, after my meeting, I listened to the voicemail. It said, in part, that OddlyFamiliarGirl couldn't get the door on her Jeep to close, and she wanted to know if I'd take a look at it.

Not many people know that, as a child, I often dreamed that someday I might be able to look at, and maybe even fix, peoples' car doors.

Anyway, once I finally got off work, I drove to the place where OddlyFamiliarGirl was waiting. She told me her door woes, and I went out to take a look.

Not to get too technical, but the latch thingy was extended when it should have been retracted. This was preventing the door from closing.

I pressed my thumb against the door button, watched the thingy retract, and then I closed the door. Then, because I'm nothing if not thorough, I opened and closed the door again.

Then I went back inside and made fun of OddlyFamiliarGirl for a while. That was instead of giving her my bill.

Then I updated my facebook status.

One of my friends, or "chicks" as OddlyFamiliarGirl calls them, read my status and emailed me to ask, "I'm intrigued. What did you do to OddlyFamiliarGirl? Should I be jealous now?"

I replied, "Don't be jealous. I just thumbed her button and made her happy."

(This is a repost from 2006. I'm too tired to come up with anything new this morning.)

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I hate it when my most recent entry sucks, so I'm writing this one which hopefully sucks less.

Somebody last night - I think it was one of the PBDs in a moment of alcohol-induced pseudo-wisdom, made the following observation:

You should just follow your heart, and do the right thing.

Head started to nod up and down in unison like commuters on a bumpy bus ride - imagery which looks much better in my head than it does on my screen.

Such a sage suggestion! Such worldly wisdom! Such axiomatic advice!

Such babbling bullshit!

I had to put a stop to it before people started getting whiplash.

"But what if following your heart and doing what's right are mutually exclusive?" I offered. "Remember that hearts are stupid and selfish. It's very rare for them to be right about anything. What if you're always finding yourself being forced to choose between following your heart and doing what's right?"

That stopped the bobbing.

"Well then that's pretty fucked-up," someone responded.

Indeed.