I have a problem writing about nice things. I have zero creativity when it comes to things like that. That being said, here goes.

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I've asked several people since Friday night, and nobody thinks I'm dumb at all. Most people, in fact, say that I'm quite smart. So there.

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NABC Cone Smoker is back!

Yay!

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Tuesday evening I got to have dinner with HatGirl and then go to Rich O's with her.

HatGirl!

Yay!

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WeirdGirl told me again that she misses my tongue. That's kinda sweet of her to say that.

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I never would have predicted it, but I totally want a baby in my life. Strange but very true.

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Today I stayed home from work because I was feeling icky. But now I feel much better. Almost healthy, actually.

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The things in my life that are, by far, the most wonderful and amazing and fulfilling? I still can't write about those things, but they're fucking awesome.

I'm not the bum, but I still got the fucking bum's rush.

But that's not the annoying part.

Nope, the fucking annoying part is that I knew this was going to happen, I was warned that this was going to happen, yet I went anyway.

Nobody to blame but myself.

I remember this one time, not too long ago, that my friend RockGirl was glaring at her phone, and it rang.

It actually rang!

I begged and pleaded for her to give me her secret glaring method, so that I might enjoy the same success.

But, unfortunately, she didn't remember what it was she had done differently.

The moral of this story is to videotape your life so you have a record of everything you ever do.

I suppose that wondering can't really be held against me. I mean, I get pissed at myself, for wondering. But it's a pretty normal human activity, I suppose. Not evil at all, and not really stupid, either, as long as it's kept in check.

I wonder if it ever bothers her when I leave. If she ever thinks, just for a second, that things would make more sense if I stayed. That something is wrong, something just doesn't add up, and that maybe if I stayed it would make things right.

I wonder if it ever pisses her off, when I leave, the way it pisses me off when I come home and face yet another night alone.

Early Friday afternoon I found myself missing my dad. A little more than usual, I mean. I was sitting in my Monte Carlo at the car wash, so that probably had something to do with it. The next thing I knew I was shivering at his gravesite.

Then to continue down nostalgia's trail I went to this Hitching Post bar in Louisville. It was Dad's hangout in New Albany. I try to go in there each year, on the anniversary of his death, and have a Falls City beer to his memory. Well, they don't make Falls City anymore, but they do still make Budweiser (24), and it's pretty much the same thing.

After a while, the bartender recognized Dad's old Monte Carlo parked out front, and so he figured out who I was. Next thing I knew there were three or four people in there talking about Dad, and they all had very good things to say. So that was nice.

Then this lady and her hot daughter came in and sat with me for a while. The mom said she'd met me before. I didn't remember it. The daughter kept making goo-goo eyes at me, and we made half-assed plans to go out sometime. I doubt that will ever happen but, just in case, I've dubbed her GooGooGirl.

The first thing we were going to do had maybe a zillion-to-one chance against it. But we were going to do it. As of late Wednesday night, we were going to do the first thing, and I think we were excited about it.

The first thing got cancelled Thursday morning. I was very disappointed.

The second thing we were going to do had perhaps a million-to-one chance against it. But we were all set. It was going to happen. After the first thing, we were going do the second thing.

The second thing never happened, either. I was disappointed.

The third thing, well the odds against the third thing were incalculable. It, of course, didn't happen except in my head.

The fourth thing, we got to do. It was nice. So it ended up being a good Thanksgiving.

I think I'm supposed to write something now. What, exactly, I'm not sure.

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I had a very good evening.

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I'm sober, but I'm not really sure how I managed it. I had a Newcastle (11787) at lunch, then a Schlenkerla Marzen (6592) before dinner, then three bottles of Barley Island Barfly (286) and a bottle of Barley Island Dirty Helen (484). I should be shitfaced, but I'm perfectly fine. Weird.

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As I was driving home tonight, I saw a very bright shooting star, and I gave my wish to LaptopGirl. I hope she uses it wisely.

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Today I had lunch with HatGirl.

HatGirl!

Yay!

She's such a good person. One of the best.

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Sometimes I wish things weren't so lopsided. Because then I'd not only know exactly what to do, I'd actually be able to do it without it being weird.

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There's been this hole in my soul for a long time. During times like tonight, when that hole is filled, I feel like a real person for a while. And then there was another hole. One I didn't even know about, and a little kid snuck right in and filled that hole like it was never even there.

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Sometimes I can imagine myself being happy. It's nice, when I can do that.

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I think I'm tired. I won't know for sure, though, until I go to bed. I guess I'll try that now. Long day tomorrow.