You ever think about how constant constancy is?

That's probably why they call it that, instead of transience or something like that.

I thought that the word would be constance, but it's not. I looked it up. It's constancy.

That's weird. Transient becomes transience, but constant becomes constancy. Fucking English.

Anyway, one thing has remained constant through all of this bullshit that I've used instead of a life for the past two years.

Is the phrase remained constant repetitive? Probably.

Maybe they used the word constance because that's a chick's name. Or something like that.

Later.

Tonight, I plan to drink. I've got some lovely beer in my fridge. A large bottle of Avery The Reverend and two small bottles of Delirium Tremens. All will be yummy.

I'm drinking at home Rich O's is closed. Bars that close on Labor Day make me sad.

And, when I'm sad, I drink.

No, it is not circular reasoning, so shut up.

Also tonight, I plan to ponder something that was revealed to me the other night. Something which I will keep to myself. It just doesn't compute, and I fear that my brain may explode when I try to comprehend it.

I wonder if my cats would eat my brains?

Probably. Ungrateful little snots.

Besides being sad and trying to compute the incomputable and planning my cats' next meal, I'm doing some wondering.

Wondering is a bad thing. It must be stopped. It must be drowned with alcohol.

I mean, what the fuck? Seriously, how could that be possible? It just doesn't compute. Is he fucking stupid or something?

I need a drink.

I was checking out HarpO's videos and, while I knew that I could never compete with the harp playing, I felt that I could give the highway traffic videos a run for their money.

So here are some birds, with background audio of me talking to SassyGirl on the phone.

I feel kind of silly writing this, my Saturday beer report. More than that, I feel a little bit guilty about writing it. 'Cause see, I can't or at least won't write about what was important. And I don't want those things that I do write to take away from the significance of those things that I can't or won't write about.

Did you ever see a shooting star so brilliant that it just took your breath away, and you just stood there watching it blaze across the sky, so awestruck that you forgot to make a wish? Did you ever then realize that you're wish had come true anyway?

Yeah, well me too.

Saturday I needed to get to Rich O's early. It was imperative. There were people that were going to be there and I needed to have suitable seating available.

So I left my house a little before 7:00. I was on my way to the haunted Burger King to get something to eat when HatGirl went zooming by me, honking her horn and giving me a heart attack. HatGirl was one of the people I was supposed to meet at Rich O's. One of the reasons that I needed to be there early. But she called to let me know that she'd be later than expected. Didn't matter though. I still had to find suitable seating. There was another.

I grabbed a quick meal and got to Rich O's at 7:30. There were already strangers in the living room area. Fuck! The island was empty though so I went to sit over there, but I glanced at the bar and saw MisunderstoodGirl. That was a very nice surprise. I sat at the bar and talked with MisunderstoodGirl and QuietDude. I also kept looking behind me to see if the fuckheads would be leaving any time soon. It didn't look good. They seemed to be well entrenched.

My first beer was a Weihenstephaner Hefeweissbier (1483). Actually, so were my second and third beers (1523).

After much discussion about such lofty topics as boobs and lesbian mail-order brides, some other stuff happened. This is the part where I shut up for a while.

After that, HatGirl and LuckyFucker came in.

HatGirl!

Yay!

MisunderstoodGirl left, so I moved down one spot and HatGirl and LuckyFucker joined me and QuietDude at the bar. I continued to turn around to check out the living room area. Actually I increased the frequency of this quite a bit. I really really really wanted to move over there.

(Seriously, I really did. The opportunity just never presented itself. I was not afraid.)

But it was not to be. The fuckheads had given their seats to some new arrivals, and so I spent the entire night sitting at the bar.

As the night at Rich O's wore to a close, the living room area did eventually empty out. Not that I cared by that point. I and QuietDude and FutureDude and DooRagGirl all moved over there.

Oh yeah, HatGirl and LuckyFucker had gone, and DooRagGirl had come in. Try to keep up please.

Then they closed Rich O's up. The four of us went over to this Mac's place that I don't like. They had a band that was covering Pink Floyd and AC/DC though, so that was pretty cool. It was quite loud there. I had a Newcastle (2308) and we sat around for an hour or so basically shouting at each other because that was the only way to be heard.

At 2:00 or so, DooRagGirl suggested that we all go to her house where we could hear ourselves think and hear each other talk. I thought that this was a great idea because we'd been talking about her pussy and I'd become obsessed with the idea of getting to pet it.

So we all went over to DooRagGirl and FutureDude's house, and I got to pet her pussy. Several times in fact. I'd heard some scary stories about her pussy but it was really quite nice. You just have to know how to treat them.

I also got to meet the famous Harry the dog.

I also had another Newcastle (2320).

At about 4:00 or so I left and went to White Castle then came home.

Next up, we have the Oscar for Best Portrayal Of A Completely Normal Person Who Was Only Feeling Those Things That He Was Allowed To Feel Under The Circumstances And Who Was Also Most Definitely Not Having A Miniature Nervous Breakdown Every Time His Eyes Met Those Of A Certain Other Person Which Was Quite Fucking Often But Not Nearly As Often As He Would Have Liked.

And the Oscar goes to...

* DRUMROLL *

Me!

Yay for me!

I'm a little worried about a friend of mine tonight, just from something I think I might have heard.

I hope she's okay.

The place was packed. There are three dipshits taking up four spaces at the bar, and there's an old couple eating at the island, and UplandWheatDude is in the living room with some dipshits. I ordered a Delirium Tremens (650) and asked the old people if I could sit with them as long as I promised not to bother them. They agreed, but before I could sit down the living room people invited me to join them. Against my better judgment - such as it is - I went and sat on the loveseat next to some drunk fucker.

After a couple of minutes I picked up my shit and moved back to the island because the various drunk dipshits in the living room kept trying to talk to me.

(Edit: I do not include UplandWheatDude among the annoying dipshits. He's a good guy.)

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I hope these old people leave before they try to talk to me.

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These things in my head, these thoughts and memories and inklings - I wonder how many of them are real and how many exist simply to hide the truth. Or to impersonate the truth. I'd like to believe that there's some truth on the surface of me, but sometimes I can't tell. And I've surprised and shocked myself so many times that I don't think I trust myself anymore. It's not the best feeling I've ever had.

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Fuck I wish these people would leave. They paid their tab 30 minutes ago and they're still sitting there yakking at each other.

(Update: Fucking finally!)

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Oh shit! I just had an awful idea. What if that one loud bitch is that one dude's new girlfriend? If so, I may vomit.

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Okay, this was messed up. You need to look at the map I guess.

After the old people left I moved to the spot marked with the "X." A few minutes later, a guy and a girl came in. They sat in the two spots next to me. What made this weird, what made this strange, what made this incredibly fucked up, what totally creeped me out was that - get this - the other side of the island was completely unoccupied! This creeped me out, like I said, and so I picked up my shit and moved back to the living room. Once I got there, people once again tried to talk to me, but that was nothing compared to those two freakazoids sitting right next to me.

About an hour later WomanRepellant came in. I offered him 5 bucks to go sit at the "X" seat. He was going to do it but there was a chick that distracted him and so he ended up sitting across from the freakazoids instead.

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To write that last section, I took my second Delirium Tremens (660) and moved to the kiddie table. I don't feel like moving back.

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Some people insist on talking about politics and religion in here. Some people suck. In many cases, these two groups overlap. Coincidence? I think not.

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FutureDude is funny.

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Hot girl alert!!!

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I just figured out why I hate this one fucker. He's a pretentious asshole, but there are a lot of those around. But this guy is also an ass kisser. It's a pretty powerful combination.

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Oh boy, I get to listen to CoffeeDude tell The Story Of His Home Roaster again.

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What sucks about tonight is that the place is full of fakers. I find myself painfully aware of SassyGirl's impending departure. She'll join LaptopGirl and Spikeboy in the group of people who used to make this place worthwhile for me, but then moved away or otherwise stopped coming in. HatGirl doesn't come in often enough to make a difference. Neither does DooRagGirl. Once SassyGirl leaves I think that I'll have one friend left here.

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Sure, there are plenty of people who I like just fine, but none of them are like me. There's something fake about every one of them.

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Plus, a lot of them are just incredibly stupid.

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I could probably do another Tremens, but it's Diet Coke time for now.

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I probably shouldn't say this, but last night was the best night that I've had in a very very very very very long time. Maybe the best night of my life. So there.

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I am stupid.

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I wrote that I was stupid because I was 0 for 3 on returned calls tonight. But right after I wrote that HatGirl called me back. So now I'm 1 for 3. I'm still stupid though.

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Weihenstephaner Hefeweissbier is back on tap! I'm ordering one, but I probably won't drink it all (1463).

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After that, I quit taking notes because HatGirl came in.

HatGirl!

Yay!

It was very nice to see her after so many millions of years. We ended up closing the place down together.

Then I went to White Castle and then I came home.