Stolen from ella.

Okay, I'm home.

My laptop broke Thursday night, but I still wrote some shit in my notebook.

Shit being the operative word in that last sentence.

I might post some of it anyway, as that's probably what people have come to expect from me lately.

The show must go on after all.

It's fucking Thursday night already. I haven't written anything since Tuesday morning. I'm a big slacker.

I'm having fun, I guess. How could I not have fun? It is Las Vegas after all. But what I haven't been doing is relaxing. That would be too much to ask for I suppose.

So, I spent the first three days regretting my decision to come here, and I've spent the last two days dreading my return to Indiana.

To the certain uncertainty.

I can already feel it, the fog creeping into my mind. Clouding my judgment and making everything that was so clear to me, for a brief period two days ago, murky and indistinct.

Decisions shouldn't be this tough. Options should be clear. Advantages and disadvantages should be obvious. Pitfalls should be brilliantly illuminated.

But noooooooooo!

I'm rambling here, and I know it.

You know what would be nice?

You know what would be really cool?

If I would feel like I was actually learning something from all this. Something beyond how to live with pain I mean. I've got that figured out. Time to move on.

Another thing that would be cool would be if all of this would somehow turn out to be worth it in the end. If someday I could look back and laugh, or even smile, or at least not want to cry.

It's amazing to me that I haven't given up. That I haven't just raised my middle finger to the world and stopped even trying to get along with other people. So few are worth any effort whatsoever.

Monday night, after my nap, I took a cab up to The Riviera. I didn't stay very long though. Just long enough to briefly check for anyone I knew. I didn't see anyone, so I took a cab to The Rio.

I took notes.

8:30
There's something about The Rio that feels like home to me. I love walking into this place - it just energizes me. And that goes double for The Tilted Kilt. Even though they seem to have gone insane with remodeling, it's still my favorite place in Las Vegas.

Anyway, the first thing I noticed was that I didn't know the bartender. I'd been hoping that HenpeckedGuy would be working. The second thing I noticed was that PictureGirl was nowhere to be seen. The third thing was that Rogue Dead Guy Ale was on tap, so I ordered one (194).

Lastly, I noticed that Rogue Chocolate Stout was on tap. Yay! So I guess I know what I'll be drinking for the rest of the night.

8:40
PictureGirl doesn't work here anymore. That's probably for the best. Also, HenpeckedGuy will be working here tomorrow night.

8:45
I'm struck by the realization that this is the first time that I've sat in this bar and felt completely safe. There is zero chance of a surprise visit. It's a pretty nice feeling, or at least it would be if I were sane. For me, it's quite dull. This is probably one of the reasons that I've felt so strange about this entire trip. I've achieved safety via isolation, and isolation is something I've never wanted.

8:56
Some dipshit just ordered a black and tan.

8:59
StupidGirl still works here. She smiled at me. I should ask her what happened to PictureGirl. Scratch that - I should ask her no such thing.

9:07
Rogue Chocolate Stout time (858).

9:10
Problem is, I'm still a bit hung-over from lunch.

9:15
I should have stayed at The Riviera longer. It would have been nice to see some people I know.

9:16
In case nobody has ever noticed, that Sharipova girl is hot.

9:20
I wish I was staying here instead of at The Luxor.

9:24
OMG, this fucker next to me just told the bartender that he's not a lightweight so he drinks Bud and not Bud Light. I'm sitting here biting my tongue to keep from laughing in his face.

9:26
He's noticed me grinning, and now he's glaring at me. I may have to beat the shit out of him.

9:42
So instead of getting into a fight with PussyMan, I've been talking to him. He's a Yankees fan. Seems like a decent guy despite his delusions about beer.

9:44
Another Rogue Chocolate Stout (874).

9:46
I like hot girls.

9:48
Stupid people have arrived.

9:55
StupidGirl just offered to give me PictureGirl's phone number. I told her that I was seeing someone. That was, of course, a big fat lie.

10:05
Okay, I compromised. I gave StupidGirl my number.

10:09
Honesty time. I told StupidGirl that I'm not in a relationship, but that I'm taken nonetheless. This confused her. I fear that her brain may explode now.

10:16
She keeps trying to see what I'm writing, but it's none of her business so I'm using my free hand to hide it.

10:17
I told her about the hiding what I'm writing. She asked if it was about her. I said it was. She asked it if was good. I said it was neutral. Her face fell.

10:20
I could probably have sex with StupidGirl if I wanted to, but I don't want to. That's weird.

10:30
I'm going to the Grand Canyon tomorrow morning, and I don't want to be hung-over, so I'm outta here.

---

So I took a cab to New York New York and had a Diet Coke and talked to PonytailGirl while I waited for my chicken tenders to get ready. Then I walked back to my room at The Luxor and ate then slept.

In an hour or so I leave for the Grand Canyon! Yay!

Monday morning, after I'd won a little bit of money playing video poker, I did some walking around. My plan had been to walk up to The Riviera where there's a pool tournament going on, but I only made it to Caesar's Palace.

I took a bunch of pictures.

Paris Las Vegas is quite photogenic.

I did another zoom test with my camera. Here's the unzoomed view of New York New York.

And here's the zoomed view.

I think this stained glass dome was inside Paris Las Vegas.

I took a lot of pictures of fountains. I like fountains.

I stopped at Planet Hollywood inside Caesar's and this creepy thing was on the wall.

More fountains.

These were cooler in person.

Here's the obligatory strip shot taken from just outside New York New York.

The first time I ever came to Las Vegas these talking statues were probably the coolest things in the city. Now they seem kind of cheesy.

I really wanted to jump into the water in front of Bellagio.

That's the Rio way out there on the right. It was too far to walk though.

A tower.

For lunch, I had three Smithwick's (1004) and then I had a Guinness (1277) for dessert. I'd still like to duplicate this bar in my basement some day.

Then I came back to my room and took a nap.

Ugh.

Let's see, I guess I better start trying to get caught up. If I don't do it now then it'll just be that much tougher later. Sitting here typing is pretty much the last thing I want to be doing right now. Partly because I'm hung-over from lunch, and partly because it's Las Vegas.

Mostly it's the being hung-over thing.

Yesterday I arrived here as scheduled, just before 4:00. After getting my luggage and getting a taxi and getting a room it was just before 7:00. That's right, three hours. Two hours of that time was spent at The Luxor waiting in line to get a room. It was ridiculous. especially for a place that's kind of a shithole compared to the places around it.

Speaking of places around it, once I'd thrown my stuff into my room, I walked over to The ESPN Zone at New York New York and had something to eat. And drink. And trying to get my cell phone to work. It died just after I got here, and it didn't start working again until this morning.

Anyway, to drink, I had three Fat Tires (133) which were very good, and a wheat beer that I hadn't tried before.

Widmer Brothers Hefeweizen (16)

(draft) The bartender didn't know if this was an American or German wheat, so I had a pint to find out. What it is is a very weak American wheat. Very little aroma or flavor. Since I don't like American wheats, this one was actually very tolerable.

The time zone change caught up with me at around midnight, so I walked back to my room and slept until 5:00 this morning.

Departure

What kind of a fucked up moth am I anyway? The flame is down there on the ground, not a zillion miles away. My mind is having a tough time coming to grips with what I'm doing. It's like I'm watching some movie and I just can't believe how stupid the main character is being.

Layover

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm starting to get a little bit excited.

Arrival

Vegas, baby!

Whoo hoooooooo!

8:05
The place is about half full. Or half empty. Whatever. The throne is open but two idiots are sitting on the sofa and eating, so I'm sitting at the island. I order an NABC Artemsia (210).

8:10
This is good though. I can write when I'm sitting here. But not this entry. Something else. I should get started.

8:25
One page so far, and I'm not even halfway to where I want to get. It's too long. Keep it simple stupid. I'm starting over.

8:26
MusicalHippyDude and GlassesGirl have joined me. Oh well. Maybe I'll write on the plane tomorrow.

8:50
GlassesGirl is ordering a pizza with beer cheese instead of pizza sauce. This was my idea.

9:04
Okay, that's a decent second draft. I'll run it by RockGirl and see what she thinks.

9:20
Another Artemsia (230).

9:40
CoffeeDude is here.

10:12
Piss time.

10:15
Another Artemsia (250).

---

And that's all the notes I took.

I talked with CoffeeDude for a while. I texted DooRagGirl to ask her to come to Rich O's. I had a Diet Coke. I left at 11:00 or so.

Then I went to this place by my house called the Korner Kitchen and had a couple of Newcastles (2316) while I wondered if (a) KittenDamsel was going to show up, and (b) if it was a good idea to be looking for KittenDamsel.

In the end, I drank alone. I did get a text message from GlassesGirl telling me that DooRagGirl was on her way to Rich O's, but it was too late. I'd already written the entire night off as a waste of time.

And now it's 12:15 and I really should be thinking about either sleeping or packing for my flight tomorrow.

Just a quick update for anyone planning to stalk me in Las Vegas.

I arrive at 3:49 tomorrow afternoon on Continental flight 697 from Houston. After landing, I will of course head to the baggage claim area, but at first I'll be outside the doors having a smoke or two.

If any of my stalkers want to give me a ride to The Luxor, just hold up a big sign with my name on it. I'll be on the lookout.

If there's more than one person holding a sign, I'll use a double-blind squeeze test and go with the person with the nicest breasts.

After I check in at The Luxor I'll have some free time for a while, but I need to get over to The Rio at some point so I can go to The Tilted Kilt. I may be meeting my friend Gene from Seattle there. I don't know because I haven't called him yet.

For those of you planning some late-night stalking, please keep in mind that whenever I go to Las Vegas the time change usually wipes me out by midnight on that first night.

I really feel like I should be more excited about this trip than I am. I feel like I'm going in the wrong direction. Probably because I am. Fucking timing is everything.