It will be better this time. This time, I'll be able to weather the storm. This time, I will not be washed away.

I still manage to hold on to a smidgen of hope that this can all end well. Or end badly. I don't care as long as it fucking ends. If I continue to ignore it, and simply keep it bottled up, then it will be with me forever.

I'm becoming worried that I may be about to be tested again. I'd like to be at least a little bit prepared for that test. I'll probably still fail, but maybe not quite as spectacularly.

I was getting a little bit too complacent. I was patting myself on the back a little bit too much. Now, if I can do it again, then I might be justified in feeling a little smug.

Sometimes I just think that this is the way things are suposed to be, and that fighting and ignoring the issue is useless.

I'd rather face one large problem, even a huge problem, than a thousand tiny nuisances.

I just think it would be better for everyone around me if I turn my anger back where it belongs for a while. Hating everyone and everything that I come in contact with, while loads of fun, just isn't a fair way to handle things. Refocusing my anger and disappointment back to myself, where it belongs, is the right thing to do at this time.