Tonight was a blessed relief, especially compared to the last few Fridays.

I arrived at Rich O's a little before 9:00 and, get this, I got a fucking parking spot in the fucking main lot!

This was a huge deal to me. I didn't have to park at Kroger. I didn't have to park at the employment services agency. I didn't even have to park at the catering place. I parked right in the Rich O's parking lot. For probably the first time on a Friday night, since the year 345,555 B.C.

I parked in the main lot, just like a regular person.

So I went in, and I did my usual hot girl inventory.

Nada.

Next, the asshole inventory.

That FuckingAssholeThatIHate was sitting on the sofa. Other than that, it seemed safe. It seemed good, in fact.

Finally, the friend inventory.

Nada to get excited about. MusicalHippyDude was sitting at the island, with his usual posse of PBDs, and WomanRepellant was sitting at the bar.

I sat at the bar, next to WomanRepellant. He was in a shitty mood, as usual. This time it was because he'd been beerless for like 10 minutes. He became convinced that all of the bartenders hated him, and he left after muttering, "Fuck this place. This place sucks."

He'll probably be back tomorrow. WomanRepellant has a very low threshold for thirst, but an even lower grudge-holding capacity.

I had, of course, looked at the beer board when I first went in. I hadn't seen anything interesting, so I ordered an NABC Old Lightning Rod. The bartender mentioned to me that the long-awaited blueberry stout was on tap. I hadn't seen it on the board, but I had definitely been waiting for it, so I had one:

Dark Horse Tres Blueberry Stout (20)

(draft) A stout, not just an ale, which was news to me. I didn't get much of an aroma from this, and the blueberry flavor was more subtle that I was expecting. The blueberries showed up mostly in the finish, which had absolutely no trace of bitterness. The undertones were mostly roasted malt, and the flavor slanted a tad more towards coffee than chocolate. A very good beer, worth the wait.

I sat at the bar all night, even though that fucking shithead that made LaptopGirl cry left fairly early, so I could have moved over to the sofa. I was enjoying the privacy that's been to hard to come by on recent Fridays. I did send a text message to HatGirl telling her about the Blueberry Stout (I got no response), but that was pretty much the extent of my social interactions.

It was nice.

I had a second blueberry stout (40), and I began to wonder about the ABV in the thing. It seemed to be fairly strong, at least by the way it was affecting me.

I've since checked it out on the Internet and I see that it's a whopping 4.5% ABV. So I am a pussy, apparently, because I stopped after that second pint.

So I left Rich O's a little after 11:00, and I went over to this Mac's place that I don't like. MisunderstoodGirl supposedly hangs out there, but she wasn't there tonight, so I left without drinking anything.

Then I came home.

Tonight, though boring on the surface, was pretty much exactly what I needed. I'm pretty sure that I'm not fit for human company right now, so tonight was, as I said earlier, a blessed relief.

I'm pissed.

Pissed at myself. At my life. At everything.

I just yelled at this poor girl at work for no reason. She was just trying to set up a lunch for my group, and I felt the need to tell her how much I hate eating lunch, and how much I loathe doing just about anything in these stupid work clothes.

I did go over and apologize, but I obviously shouldn't have taken my frustrations out on her in the first place.

It's not her fault that my life sucks. It's mine.

I think I need to take a vacation to Antarctica or some other unpopulated place. That way nobody will have to deal with my crap until I've learned to deal with it myself.

The other night, Saturday to be exact, I was asked the question.

Do you love me?

This was not the first time she'd asked, but it was quite possibly the last.

I wonder, did a part of me know what was happening, how important it was?

Because Saturday, for the first time, I wanted to lie when I answered that question. I mean, I really really really wanted to lie. I wanted to say yes, and I wanted her to believe me, and I wanted her to say it back to me, and I wanted us to kiss, and I wanted us to live happily ever after.

What's a little lie if it can bring a lifetime of happiness?

Always before, I'd wanted to say yes. But I'd wanted it to be true before I said it. I'd always given her the truth, just as she'd always given it to me.

I could have done it though. She wanted me to say yes, and I don't think that she really cared anymore if it was the truth or not. She just wanted to hear me say the words. I think she'd have believed anything.

But that night, Saturday night, she sensed my hesitation, and she changed the subject. She asked me the other question.

Do you still love her?

And that question, that fucking question, I answered immediately.

---

Monday night, she didn't bother to ask me either question.

If she had asked, I think I'd have said anything to stop what was happening.

If she had asked, I think I'd have lied my ass off.

My nose has been whistling all fucking day long.

I've blown about a ton of crap out of it, and it still whistles.

Luckily, I'm the only one that can hear it. I think. EwokGirl has been giving me funny looks, but of course she always does that.

Stolen from mavis68:

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Dave, by most people.
2. David, by work people and my ex-wife.
3. Mr. Siltz, by bill collectors.

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Sometimes I'm funny, at least in my own head.
2. Usually I'm nice.
3. I'm fairly confident, at least at the start.

THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My tastes in female beauty are too high.
2. I can't read women's minds.
3. I don't take hints very well.

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. German is the biggest part.
2. Irish is in there somewhere.
3. French? I'm don't know. Ask my sister Neisha.

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Spiders.
2. Prison rape.
3. Never really getting completely over certain bullshit.

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Caffeine.
2. Writing.
3. Playing with my cats.

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. A stupid tie.
2. Stupid dry-clean-only slacks.
3. My new glasses!

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS (or artists) AT THE MOMENT:
1. Kelly Clarkson!
2. Evanescence.
3. Blues Traveler.

THREE REASONS YOU'VE BROKEN UP WITH EXES:
1. She was a slut.
2. Total lack of communication.
3. Just drifted apart.

THREE THINGS YOU WOULD WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Honesty.
2. Intellectual compatibility.
3. Sexual compatibility.

THREE THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Beautiful eyes.
2. A fit, but not muscular, body.
3. Dressing like a girl every now and then.

THREE THINGS YOU CAN'T DO:
1. Shut the fuck up.
2. Hide my feelings.
3. Tolerate rap music.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE PASTIMES:
1. Reading.
2. Shooting Pool.
3. Drinking good beer and talking with my friends.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BAD RIGHT NOW:
1. Go back to sleep.
2. Make a phone call.
3. Travel somewhere exciting.

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Retiree.
2. Playboy.
3. Puppyshark's fluffer.

THREE PLACES YOU WOULD GO ON VACATION:
1. Hawaii - maybe this Fall.
2. Europe would be cool.
3. I'm always up for a Las Vegas trip.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Become immortal.
2. Visit the states I haven't been to yet.
3. Fall in love again, but with a normal person.

Just an update on the event, envisioned here and confirmed here.

Oh yeah! First, SassyGirl and I were sitting at Rich O's before we went to dinner, and we were talking about how she wants me to try to have this sour Belgian beer that she likes added to the list. I said that I'd see what I could do. Then this guy that nobody saw before asked me, "Are you the Dave from DaveFest?"

I said I was. I thought it was pretty cool. I'm all famous and shit.

Anyway, Roger is now saying that DaveFest will probably be in late May or early June instead of early May, as it was originally envisioned.

I'll be sure to keep everyone updated so you all can come to DaveFest and meet me and buy a t-shirt and drink some good beer.