B-day greetz to my lil sister Dina, yo!

Last night several people came to my house for my sister Dina's pre-birthday party.

My beer selection was pretty straightforward: I had three and a half Mad Bitches and they messed me up. Good thing I didn't have to drive anywhere!

We played a game of Loaded Questions and I thought it'd be fun to post my responses here. Unfortunately I can't find my answer sheet so I'll have to go from memory. I know for a fact that I've forgotten at least two of my answers.

1. Calzone, pizza, garlic bread.

2. Socrates.

3. Steven Wright.

4. Scooby Doo.

5. Piano.

6. Alaskan oil drilling.

7. Garth Brooks.

8. Suburban sprawl fucking up what used to be pristine.

9. Beach Dork.

10. Wrist.

11. Snobby people.

12. F in wood shop.

13. The Fuzzy Wuzzy Kitty Store.

14. Kicking myself in the ass.

15. Don't watch commercials - I have TiVo!

16. Pool cues.

17. Ribbed condoms: for her pleasure.

18. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure

19. Jerk off with all ten penises at once.

20. September 11, 2001, 8:00 AM.

21. Chess.

22. VigilanteGirl.

23. Whip it out.

Three times.

That's how many times VigilanteGirl called me last night while I was at Rich O's. This makes a total of three times that she's ever called me. Our flirting has always been face-to-face, but now I'm wondering if we've graduated to phone flirting.

I spent the first part of the night at Rich O's standing around waiting for a seat to open up somewhere. I'm really starting to develop a selfish concern for the way Rich O's has been on Fridays lately. I mean, if the place becomes too hip and popular, the crowds of Spaten and Heineken and Corona drinkers will drive us regulars away. Or at least drive me away. I really wanted to leave right off the bat but RealTrainGirl and GreenBeerDude arrived and gave me something to do besides stand around and glare at all the strangers.

Finally, some strangers left the island area and we all grabbed seats. MisunderstoodGirl was with us too. The last time I saw her I kind of got a fuck you, asshole vibe from her, a vibe that I thankfully did not detect last night.

I finished my Mad Bitch at about the second time VigilanteGirl called, this time with an update on the goings-on at a really loud bar that I had no interest in going to. She hinted that her entourage might come down to Rich O's later so I decided to pace myself and therefore ordered an NABC Beak's Best.

After a while, my companions left for quieter pursuits and were replaced by ExBartender - not exactly an even trade but still a little better than sitting by myself would have been.

By the third time VigilanteGirl called, this time to tell me she was on her way, I'd switched to root beer.

By the time I'd finished my root beer another hour and a half had passed, and I was alone at the island.

I drove up to the loud bar, and saw nobody I knew there, so I went home and played Half Life 2 for a while.

I'd better start freaking out now. Maybe that way I can avoid a total meltdown later.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

One of the downsides to having a 'blog that people know about is...that people know about it.

Sometimes they even read it.

Sometimes they read a 'blog, decide that the person doing the writing is vulnerable, rebounding, or whatever, and that's when they make their move.

Somebody just made their move on me.

If this had happened a couple of months ago, things would be different indeed.

But as things stand now all this has done is confuse the issues tumbling around in my head.

Must...not...write...

No...body's...business...

Want...a...beer.

I may as well cover all the bases. These are what I see to be my top ten assets, in no particular order.

1. I'll put myself through torture rather than hurt someone I care about. The other person is always first.

2. I'm almost painfully honest. If you ask me a question you should be prepared for the answer I give. I will keep my mouth shut rather than lie.

3. I'm pretty good at putting myself into others' shoes, at least as far as I know about what they're going through.

4. I get along well with just about everyone.

5. I'm pretty funny at times, even when it's just in my own head.

6. If I care about you, you need to hurt me pretty badly before I'll ever say anything about it. No sense in two people feeling bad, I figure.

7. I believe there's good in almost everyone, and I don't rely on first impressions. You almost always get more chances with me.

8. My interests are wide-ranging enough that I can carry on a conversation with just about anyone.

9. When I screw up I realize it pretty quickly and I will freely admit to, and apologize for, my mistakes.

10. I enjoy my own company, so I must not be that bad.

To continue the theme of the preceding entry, here are my top ten flaws. Actually, these are flaws as others might see them. To me, they're just part of being me. Again, these are in no particular order except the order I thought of them in.

1. My standards for female attractiveness are waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too high for someone like me.

2. I use my high standards in an attempt to keep myself out of relationships, and therefore somewhat safe from harm.

3. At times, I've forgotten that respecting others' privacy is more important than telling an interesting story.

4. I don't take rejection, even inferred rejection, very well at all.

5. I have a strong desire to be liked by everyone, and if I disagree with what someone is saying I'll often keep quiet rather than express my own opinion. Then I'll find someone who shares my opinion and talk about how stupid the first person is.

6. I'm not very good at trusting others. I'm the jealous type, but I'll usually just fume internally instead of saying anything.

7. I'm often so uncomfortable in large groups that I'll either avoid them or stay as far off to the side as far as I can. To me, Thanksgiving dinner is one of the worst forms of torture.

8. I tend to see only the best or the worst in things and people around me, depending on my current mood. I have a hard time seeing things as a whole. I'm an optimistic during good times and a pessimist in bad times.

9. I often imagine a person being a certain way, then when they turn out differently, I treat it like it was a personal affront.

10. I cannot take a hint if I don't like what the hint suggests. Even if the hints are coming from myself.

Some time ago I read a good entry in another journal about quirks.

I thought, at the time, that it would make an interesting entry here, but then I figured that it would be stupid.

Well now I'm quite bored, so here goes, my top ten quirks, in no particular order:

1. I hate mayonnaise. Can't stand the stuff. Can't stand the smell, the taste, or even the sight of it. A few years ago I skipped an entire holiday meal because someone had let mayonnaise touch the turkey.

2. Pickle Juice. See the entry for mayonnaise and multiply times ten.

3. If I meet another car at an intersection, and they have the right of way, I will wait until the end of time for them to proceed. I've been known to shut off my car and get out and play cards on my hood before I'd let some idiot who doesn't know any traffic rules out-polite me.

4. If I'm at a bar or a party or wherever, and I get bored, I'll just get up and leave. Only rarely do I even bother to say goodbye to anyone. This is one reason that I normally like to go places alone - no having to wait around for the other person.

5. If you try to make small talk with me within an hour after I wake up you'll be on my shitlist for at least a week. These damn people at work their good mornings and their whattups, they have no idea how much I loathe them in the mornings.

6. If I'm in a group of three or more people, I will almost always shut up and just listen to everyone else. I'm not sure that it's really a quirk, maybe just more of a trait.

7. Unless it's someone I'm really comfortable with, I like to keep a personal space radius of at least five feet at all times. With some people I need ten feet. With some people a thousand miles doesn't seem like enough.

8. I feel most like myself when I'm pining away for someone that's way out of my league.

9. The weirdest thing I ever experienced still freaks me out on a regular basis, and I cannot tell anyone because it was just too damn weird and the only witness was my ex-wife and everybody would figure that I just made the whole thing up.

10. I usually assume that everybody is stupid until they show me otherwise. It's not that I think I'm all that smart, I just think everyone else is a dumbass. I don't count this as a flaw because it doesn't affect how I treat people. Some of my best friends are dumbasses.

(Edited to add a bonus eleventh quirk that someone just reminded me of.)

11. I have this Goldilocks syndrome where I cannot stay comfortable in a bed. I spend my nights wandering between beds and sofas. When I am in a bed I flop around like a dying fish.

I'm just so damn mean.

In my head at least. To others I think I'm usually a pretty nice person.

But in my head...damn.

The things that pop into my head, usually when I'm trying to be funny, would no doubt be met with jaws agape and maybe even slaps were I to ever utter them out loud.

Not yet, but just wait a few years.

Man, that is just an awful thing to think...

Funny, but awful.